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Recognizing Conflict Triggers

08/23/23


a cartoon of people standing next to each other

Do you find yourself and your partner having the same disagreements over and over again? Finding the sources of your arguments may be helpful if that's the case. While it won't stop every disagreement, it can give you a better understanding of what makes for an effective outcome instead of having to bring up the same issue over.


Let's examine three perspectives:


1. Subjects

First, Make a list of the things that you and your partner disagree on the most. What's going on—money, family, kids, work-life balance, closeness, sex, or something else entirely? Next, consider the possible causes of your partner's difficulty in discussing these subjects with you. Do they result from problems with communication? An unwillingness to deal with matters before they get out of hand? Do underlying fears exist?


2. Surroundings

When traveling together, visiting a family member's house, or in another particular setting, some couples find themselves in arguments. Finding these patterns enables you to comprehend why they could be typical argument venues. Do you feel insecure about visiting these places? Nervous? Confined? On the flip side, think about situations where you and your partner have been able to have productive conversations and settle disputes. They might be the better choice for your upcoming difficult conversation.


3. States of mind

Both arguments and things that cause them can be naturally emotional. Nobody is completely rational, and the emotional states you and your partner are in affect whether or not an argument arises and how quickly it is resolved. Seek out connections that may cause disagreements. Do they usually occur when you're under a lot of stress or lack of sleep? or when you're experiencing a lack of control or trust in yourself?


*While it won't stop all disputes, being aware of your triggers can help you and your partner resolve conflicts in healthier and more beneficial ways.


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